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  “And now?” he whispered, his sapphire eyes intense.

  “If Jack Rodgers passed me the note now, I’d still check no.” Thad groaned as I laughed. “But if you passed me the note, well, that’s a different story.”

  He kissed me, first sweet and warm, then urgently. Then he pulled away, abruptly.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Nothing.” Thad’s breathing was ragged. “Absolutely nothing.”

  Reaching up, I touched the scar over his left eyebrow, the one that looked like a tiny mountain. He closed his eyes, and in that minute, he looked seventeen and relaxed. A rare sight.

  “How’d you get this? Snowboarding?”

  “Nope.” He didn’t move, letting me trace his scar. “Skateboarding. Flipped off a rail.”

  “Do you ever get scared when you snowboard?” I pictured the Winter X games in my head. “Afraid you might crash?” My finger left his scar and traced his eyebrow, then his cheek.

  “Never.” His eyes stayed closed.

  “Not afraid of anything, are you, fearless Leader?” I teased.

  Thad’s eyes flew open. He stared at me, and the carefree seventeen-year-old was gone. “Losing you,” he said, his voice rough. “Before we’ve ever had a chance. That’s my greatest fear.”

  “Then you have nothing to be afraid of,” I said. “You’ll make it. So will I. We’ve got plenty of time.”

  Then I kissed him, as urgently as he’d kissed me, and in that moment, I tasted fear. Thad’s fear. It was powerful and real, and for the first time, doubt crept in.

  Plenty of time, I’d said. But is it enough?

  CHAPTER

  37

  THAD

  DAY 293, DAWN

  Sunlight creeping in, Charley in my arms. It was the best morning on Nil yet. For the first time in weeks, I’d actually slept. No dreams, no nightmares. Just sleep.

  Watching Charley sleep, I thought again of my greatest fear, the one I’d admitted last night. I thought I’d loved Mallory, but I was wrong.

  The idea of losing Charley was unbearable.

  You’ll make it, Charley had said fiercely last night. And so will I. We’ve got plenty of time.

  I hoped Charley was right.

  And that Ramia was wrong. That thought shot from nowhere, making me jerk, and the movement woke Charley up.

  “Morning.” I kissed her forehead. “How’d you sleep?”

  “Great.” She smiled, turning away to yawn. “Best night ever.”

  “Did you miss your socks?”

  “Socks?” Charley looked confused.

  “You said you miss socks. That your feet freeze at night. So I’m wondering if you missed socks.”

  Charley laid her hand on my chest, over my heart. “I didn’t miss anything,” she said softly. “Not one thing.”

  “Good to hear,” I said, kissing her forehead and alternately wanting Charley closer and desperately needing space before I lost control. “We’d better get some food before we miss out.”

  Natalie sat with Talla by the fire, a bowl of cut pineapple between them. It looked untouched.

  “Morning, ladies. Dibs on the pineapple?” I asked.

  “All yours,” Talla said. “The pit’s full of fish wraps. Good ones, too. Seasoned with lime and sea salt. You can thank Rives and Jason for that.”

  Nodding, I grabbed two wraps and gave one to Charley.

  “There’s fresh coconut milk, too,” Talla offered.

  Charley made a face as she sat. “Thanks. I’m good with water.”

  “How’s coma-girl gate-crasher?” I asked.

  “Six feet under,” Talla said.

  “What?” Charley said as my stomach dropped. “She died?”

  “We buried her last night,” Natalie said in a small voice. “Me, Rives, and Talla.” She looked at me, guilt coating her face. “And it’s all my fault!”

  “Huh?” I frowned. “How do you figure that?”

  “I let you put her in my bed!” Natalie cried. “I didn’t stay with you, and when I went inside the hut to check on her, she was dead.”

  “What does your bed have to do with it?” I asked, not following.

  “Ramia.” Natalie’s voice was anguished. “She warned me, but I forgot! I was so obsessed with Charley’s charts, I totally blanked. And now the girl’s dead. Ramia warned me, Thad. And I blew it.”

  “No.” I said sharply. “I don’t know what she told you, but it means nothing. Ramia was a fruit loop, Nat. You know that.”

  “Was she?” Natalie asked, suddenly quiet, her eyes intense. “She sat with me, Thad. By the fire, the night before she left. I wished her good luck on Search, gave her a hug, and when I pulled away, she stared at me, like she was looking through me. ‘Keep your luck,’ she said. ‘You need it. You will lose the one you love, and when you try to save another, she will die. Dead in your bed.” Natalie shivered, twisting her hands. “‘Dead in your bed,’ she told me. Rubbing that stupid bone bracelet! And now the girl is dead! And she died in my bed!” Natalie’s rising voice now bordered on hysterical, and her hands shook.

  Ramia’s singsong voice echoed in my head. Dead in your bed. Open your eyes, Thad. The blind leading the blind. Will you open your eyes?

  “Nat—” I faltered, not sure what to say.

  Charley gave me a long look, then reached over and clasped Natalie’s hands, holding them steady. “Natalie, I never knew Ramia, but she sounds like a complete whack-a-doo. My nana likes to say that you’ll find what you’re looking for, and no offense, but right now you’re looking for the weird. You’re looking for something to fit her crazy predictions, and if you look hard enough, I guarantee you’ll find it. But it doesn’t make it true. And it doesn’t make you responsible for that girl’s death.” Charley paused. “Besides, it wasn’t your bed.”

  Natalie head jerked up.

  “It’s just borrowed,” Charley continued. “Temporary, like everything else on Nil. Like your separation from Kevin. You’re just another Nil visitor, living a temporary time-out from home. Nothing here is yours. Not your A-frame, not your bed. So if I were you,” Charley said softly, “I’d let it go. But that’s just me.”

  Natalie launched herself into Charley’s arms. “Have I told you lately how glad I am that you were the one who found Kevin’s clothes?”

  Me too, I thought, choking up, watching Charley comfort Natalie. And that somehow I found Charley. And that she found me, even the part that had been lost.

  In my peripheral vision, a black furball crept into sight. When I saw the paws, I grinned. Burton.

  He slunk close enough to shoot me his evil cat eye. “Good to see you too, buddy,” I said, tossing him my last hunk of fish. “I figured you’d turned into a Scooby Snack by now.” Burton hissed, but barely. He snatched up my offering, without hesitation.

  “Do you always feed stray cats?” Charley asked. Wiping her eyes, Natalie looked at me curiously.

  “Just Burton.”

  “Burton?” Charley said.

  “Yeah. He hung around long enough that I finally gave him a name. It made him seem less puny.” I watched Burton inhale the fish, then lick his white paws clean. “I doubt he’s got many of his nine lives left. He’s a serious pain in the butt.”

  “Uh-huh,” Charley said, in that same tone of voice she uses when she sees through my crap but doesn’t call me out on it. “Sounds like he’s a survivor.” She tossed him a piece of fish.

  Burton hissed so loud that Charley jumped back.

  “I think he likes you,” I said, grinning at Charley. “But we won’t know for sure until he brings you something dead.”

  CHAPTER

  38

  CHARLEY

  DAY 27, MORNING

  “Did you let me win?” I gasped. Hands on my hips, I glared at Thad. “Because it felt like you slowed. On purpose.”

  “Nope.” Thad looked shocked. “You just had more gas in the tank than I did.”

  I studied his expressio
n. “Really,” I said. “I beat you. Running.”

  “Seriously.” He nodded. “I think I should’ve eaten two wraps this morning. Or maybe not tossed so much to Burton.” He smiled, but it was weary—like him.

  Because now that I looked, Thad was the poster boy for exhausted. Half moons hung under his eyes, and even his sapphire blues looked dull. No wonder, I thought. He’d carried a girl miles back to the City yesterday, along with his pack. We’d all helped, or tried to, but there was no question that Thad did the heavy lifting. Typical Thad, helping everyone but himself, even grumpy cats. With a sinking feeling, I realized he’d looked this tired ever since Rory’s death.

  “Well, then,” I said, taking his hand. “Let’s get you something to eat.”

  Johan’s team was back, with a new addition. A boy. Tall, thin, and heavily inked, he had quarter-sized holes in his earlobes that I assumed used to hold piercings. His overall look screamed lead singer of a rock band; all he needed was black eyeliner and skinny jeans, but instead he sported a loincloth. He sat by the firepit in an awkward crumple, his pale skin glaringly white where his tattoos weren’t. His ashen face registered one emotion: shock.

  Heesham intercepted us halfway to the fire. “S’up, guys. Charley, is it okay if I steal your boy for a minute?”

  As Heesham smiled, for a heavy second, I thought of Sabine. I knew he missed her. Hopefully he’d find her soon—on the other side of a gate. If they found each other here, surely they could find each other back home.

  I realized the boys were staring at me, waiting.

  “Y’all go ahead.” I smiled at Heesham. “But a little fyi. Thad here’s pretty hungry. He let me beat him in sprints, so I know he needs to eat.”

  Thad protested as Heesham laughed. “I’ll take care of him,” Heesham promised. Still grinning, he steered Thad away, talking low.

  By the fire, the pale boy still sat alone, looking as pitiful as ever. Remembering my freaky first days, I went over to our newest lost soul.

  “Hey,” I said, trying not to stare at the ginormous holes in his earlobes. I could see straight through them. “My name’s Charley.”

  He lifted his eyes to me, bewildered. “I’m Dex.”

  “You hanging in there?” I asked, sitting beside him. Dex didn’t respond. Judging by his expression, I’d guess he wasn’t quite sure himself.

  “Where were you when the gate hit?” I asked.

  “Walking out of a mate’s house in Manchester. I’d left some goodies in the car, needed a bit more. Then the air fried me up like a crispy chip.” He looked at me, surprised, like he was seeing me for the first time. “Is this a trip? Or am I totally mental?”

  “It’s definitely a trip.” I smiled, going for reassuring. “But you’re not imagining it, if that’s what you’re asking. It’s real. Well, as real as a freaky island in some parallel dimension can be.”

  Dex stared at me like I was nuts. And to tell you the truth, it did sound a little crazy.

  “Look,” I said, adopting Natalie’s soft-but-steady tone, “I don’t know what this place is. No one here does, at least no one here now. And it doesn’t matter.”

  “It doesn’t matter?” he repeated blankly.

  “No. It doesn’t matter what Nil is, and there isn’t time to figure it out. All that matters is survival and escape.” And the number of days you have left, I thought. Observing Dex’s empty stare, I wondered if he had any clue how long he’d been on the island. “Dex, when the team found you, did they ask you how many days you’ve been here?”

  “Yeah. I think a week.” Dex sounded unsure. “I’m not certain what day it was when I left. We’d been cooked for days.” He sighed. “What a bloody mess.”

  “Well, I’d err on the side of caution. Go with ten days, just to be safe.”

  He nodded. “Brilliant.” Then he sort of laughed, sort of choked. “The big bloke spelled it out. I’ve got a year to ring up a gate or stay tripping here for good.”

  “Um, you don’t exactly ‘ring’ them up,” I said. “The gates, I mean. They appear at noon like clockwork, somewhere on the island. We haven’t figured out a pattern, not yet, anyway. But we’re trying. And we do know when you see one, you run like crazy, because if you catch it, you’re outta here.”

  “Fantastic,” Dex said miserably. “I’m screwed. I don’t even know what a bloody gate looks like. I never saw it, just felt it. I thought I’d taken a bad hit, like I was burning up from the inside, but it was the gate thing, not the smack, right?”

  “Right.”

  “So what does it look like?” Desperation gave his eyes life. “The gate? To get back?”

  I looked at Dex, recalling my first day in the City. I remembered the shock of arrival, the unending blur of new faces, and the sense of joining the merge one day too late. I remembered the horrific moment I’d learned my days were numbered. Counting the days was my new normal.

  Suddenly I felt like an old-timer, which was crazy.

  Dex was staring at me, with an odd mix of hope and denial.

  “Look,” I said, speaking as gently as Em, “I know you’re freaking out. Everyone does at first. And to answer your question, look for shimmering air rising from the ground. But don’t worry. If you stick around, you’ll figure it out. And you’ll have backup to help you.”

  “Backup,” Dex repeated in a hopeless monotone. “Shimmering air. Running. Death.” Dex closed his eyes. “Got it.”

  “Hey, look on the bright side. At least you’re not naked anymore, right?” I said, smiling. Dex jerked his head up so fast I thought he’d given himself whiplash.

  Before Dex could speak, Thad reached out his hand.

  “Hey, man. I’m Thad.”

  Dex stared at Thad’s hand, then grasped it. “Dex.”

  “Welcome to Nil City,” Thad said.

  Dex looked absolutely miserable. “Thanks.”

  Thad chuckled. “Hang in there, dude. Get a bite to eat, you’ll feel better. Do you like fish?”

  Dex nodded like a robot.

  “Good. Here’s a wrap. You can eat the leaves on the outside, too.” Dex took Thad’s offering as Thad turned to me. I noticed he carried two wraps, along with a mango. “Ready?” he asked.

  I nodded. As we walked away, Thad grinned. “Were you trying to put that poor guy into permanent shock? When you smiled at him, I thought he might have a heart attack right then.”

  “Funny,” I said, punching Thad in the shoulder.

  “Ow.” Rubbing his arm, Thad laughed.

  “I just feel bad for him,” I admitted. “He’s pretty freaked out.”

  “Most rookies are,” Thad said. He turned to me. “Except you.”

  I shook my head. “You didn’t see me on night five.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” Thad said. “I saw your shelter by the Bay. You weren’t freaking; you were surviving. Now eat.” He handed me a wrap, just as we left the trees behind.

  The beach hummed with activity, preparations for tonight’s Nil Night. One person stuck out, only because he should be missing.

  “Miguel’s back?” I turned to Thad. “I thought he was on Search.”

  “He was. Jillian hurt her ankle, so they bailed early. She’s okay. Just a sprain. And Miguel’s got time.”

  I wasn’t sure if Thad’s last line was for my benefit or his.

  “What are they cooking?” I asked, sniffing the air. “It smells weird.”

  “Rabbits and an ostrich. Heesham killed a big one on the way back.”

  “Ostrich?” I made a face. “People eat those?”

  Thad laughed. “Jason says they taste like beef. And after two hundred ninety-two days of fish, trust me, ostrich sounds pretty appealing.”

  Two hundred ninety-two days.

  Seventy-three noons left.

  Is this how it starts? I wondered. How the daywatch creeps into the days? One unexpected moment at a time?

  “What is it?” Thad asked.

  “Nothing,” I lied.

&n
bsp; Thad whispered in my ear. “Plenty of time, remember?” He brushed a kiss against my temple, then grinned, his lazy grin that stole my breath.

  Rives appeared by Thad’s side.

  “Thad.” Rives kept his voice low, but I easily overheard. “The Shack was hit again last night while we were taking care of that girl. And this time, no chance it’s an animal.” Rives paused. “The metal knives are gone. All of them.”

  CHAPTER

  39

  CHARLEY

  DAY 27, TWILIGHT

  Thad was a man possessed.

  Rives’s news had made him furious. Maybe because there might be a traitor in the City’s midst, maybe because the thefts happened despite all the efforts he’d made to prevent them, but either way, Thad had been on a tear ever since he’d spoken with Rives. He and Rives searched the area around the Shack, making it known exactly what they were hunting for. While they stomped around the woods, I spotted Jason slipping into Bart’s hut, no doubt on a covert knife-recovery mission. But Jason came up empty, like Thad and Rives. The knives were gone.

  Like today’s noon.

  It passed quietly, without a gate. The lack of a gate meant nothing, at least as far as my theory and charts went. All it meant for sure was that no one around the City caught one.

  After noon, a group of us went surfing. I managed to actually stand up for more than two seconds without falling off. Talla and Rives cheered; so did Jason and Natalie. Thad just smiled, like he’d known I could do it. But my favorite part was simply floating on the open water. It was a nice contrast to the stress of noon.

  And now it was night.

  A Nil Night, to be precise. My second, only this one was very different from the first. Now Dex was the newcomer, not me, and veteran Li was dead, buried in black rock. And rather than Thad, tonight my escort was Natalie, or maybe I was hers, because ever since the mystery girl’s burial, Talla and I had made sure Natalie was never alone. Natalie had agreed to bunk with Talla, which was a huge relief since she hadn’t stepped foot inside her A-frame since Rives had carried out the dead girl, and I knew Natalie wouldn’t catch a wink of sleep there if she tried. Good sleep meant a good Search, or so I’d heard. Maybe it was some wacky island version of an old wives’ tale, but if it could help Natalie, I was all for it. And after last night’s midnight burial, Natalie definitely needed some good sleep.