Nil on Fire Read online

  “Makes sense,” Thad mused. “‘Look for what you don’t see.’”

  Paulo was nodding. Rives stayed silent, arms crossed, eyes locked on Skye. Davey guessed that more was going on behind Rives’s green eyes than his blank expression revealed. He sat too still, like a coiled spring. Ever since Skye had been lifted out of that pit, Rives reminded Davey of a caged tiger, pacing and waiting and always on edge.

  “We couldn’t see any evidence of an attack; it was like they died by magic,” Skye continued in the same aloof tone. “But it wasn’t magic. There was a vent, and gas seeped into the Dead City; eventually an earthquake readjusted the rocks and sealed it from within. The gas pocket runs along the mountain, underground. So if we ignite the gas, the volcano might erupt. At a minimum, the mountain and the platform will be destroyed. We need to light it the night of the equinox gate.”

  “And you want to be the one who does it.” Rives’s words cut the air like a hot blade. His face had gone white. “Skye, you’ll die.”

  Skye shook her head. “No. I think we can detonate it remotely, if we can just figure out a fuse. I don’t think anyone needs to stay back to light it. That’s the worst-case scenario.”

  Rives didn’t look convinced.

  “Hashtag fuse. Hashtag flammable. Hashtag remote burn. Hashtag string,” Chuck mumbled to himself. He rocked slightly as he talked.

  “This idea is way intense,” Zane said.

  “Hashtag agreed,” Davey mumbled.

  “Stop it,” Molly hissed in Davey’s ear. He almost dropped another hashtag just to get Molly to lean close again, but he didn’t. Chuck wasn’t a bad guy, just quirky.

  “I think we can do it.” Skye’s cool tone radiated confidence.

  “Really?” Rives asked. “How?”

  “Fat lighter,” Chuck said abruptly. “We need fat lighter. Dry out twine, rub it with pine sap. Make a sticky fuse. Light one end and boom.” He made a large hand motion.

  Davey’s jaw dropped slightly. Chuck sounded certain, actually convincing.

  “Where’s the hashtag?” Davey whispered in Molly’s ear. Molly poked him. He grabbed her hand. Sparks flew between them. His eyes caught hers, full of heat; Molly dropped his hand like she’d been burned.

  No one was looking at them.

  “Are there pine trees here?” Thad asked Chuck.

  “Yes,” Skye and Chuck said together.

  Skye nodded. “It sounds like exactly what we need. The only other thing—or person, rather—we need is someone who is fast. Because after they light it, they’re going to have to run to the gate. Any volunteers?”

  “I guess that’s me,” Calvin said.

  “You don’t have to do it, big Cal,” Davey said quickly, his head still reeling from Molly. “We can draw straws.”

  “Yeah, I do.” Calvin nodded. Then, unexpectedly, he grinned. “Nobody’s faster than me. Hell, now I get to race fire.”

  Or death, Davey thought worriedly.

  Smiling, Molly squeezed Calvin’s hand, then blanched.

  “Molly, what’s wrong?” Davey asked.

  “Nothing.” Molly tucked her hands tight into her lap. “Just thinking about that plan.” She looked up at Calvin. “You are fast, Calvin,” she said solemnly. “There is no one faster than you.”

  “Looks like we have a plan, people.” Zane smiled broadly. “Operation Detonation is a go.”

  CHAPTER

  61

  SKYE

  37 DAYS UNTIL THE AUTUMNAL EQUINOX, MID-MORNING

  “Skye.” Rives gently took one of my hands in his. “Look at me, please.”

  I did.

  “I don’t know what’s wrong or how I can help. You’re fading away right in front of my eyes, like when we were back home, but here it’s worse. Skye—” His voice cracked. “Let me in, let me help. Talk to me, Skye. Please don’t shut me out.”

  But I already had. I’d had to, because Rives was the one person who could break me completely.

  “I love you, too. More than you know.” I closed my eyes and climbed inside my tiny room of pure white walls. The door closed; I was completely alone. Less hurt, less feeling. Less me. But at least here I could breathe. Exhaling slowly, I opened my eyes to Rives’s pain-filled ones, knowing mine looked blank. “But right now this is about more than us. Trust me to know what the right thing to do is, okay? Trust me to do the right thing.”

  “For us?” He barely breathed.

  “For everyone.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of.” The light left Rives’s eyes.

  For a moment, time stopped. Seconds fell, untouched, vanishing into the gulf growing between us.

  “Rives!” Paulo’s shout restarted the clock. “Got a minute?”

  Rives dropped my hand, kissed my forehead, and left me sitting alone in the midst of a crowd. I walked to the ocean, drifting slightly north to a pile of black rocks that jutted out. Climbing onto the biggest one, I sat down.

  I’d seen too much.

  Too many hopes and dreams, too many loves lost, too many hearts broken and minds shattered. I’d seen beauty on a grand scale, and ugly on a microscopic one; I’d observed cruelty and kindness and courage and cowardice. I’d seen every visitor to Nil through Nil’s eyes; I’d witnessed each visitor’s journey. And I’d felt what Nil felt, mirroring us.

  I’d felt the island’s growth and change and horror and more.

  I’d understood its evolution.

  It. Was. Too. Much.

  But I couldn’t go back, and I couldn’t stop knowing. New pathways had been forged, new memories seared permanently into place. I was the ultimate accidental voyeur, and I could hardly bear it. I’d never felt so insignificant in my own head—or so overwhelmed.

  I dropped my head into my hands.

  “Skye?” Thad touched my shoulder like the wind. “Are you okay?”

  Not even close.

  “No,” I said slowly, “I’m not okay. I thought it would get better. That the memories would fade. That the pain would fade.” I looked at Thad. “But it hasn’t. And I don’t think it ever will.”

  Thad was silent at first.

  “Rives is worried about you,” he said finally.

  He should be, I thought.

  “I don’t know what you’re thinking,” Thad continued, “but if you need an ear, you can talk to me. I know Charley would be a better listener, but I don’t totally suck.” His slight grin was crooked.

  “Thanks.” I looked at him, seeing everything so clearly. “I know you still haven’t forgiven me for being here. I understand why. But you truly have my word that I didn’t mean for you or Charley or Rives to come back, or me either. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t meant to be.”

  Thad regarded me quietly.

  “You need to get Nil out of your head, Skye. Don’t listen to it. You’re stronger than Nil. Block it out.”

  “I wish I could,” I whispered. Thad couldn’t understand, because he hadn’t seen; he hadn’t felt. Not like me. But I could show him one tiny drop of the ocean of memories swimming in my head.

  Slowly, deliberately, taking care with each syllable and line, I recited words that weren’t mine, each one brimming with the pain and desperation and hope saturating the memory behind it:

  a cruel joke

  a twist of fate

  to meet you when it’s almost too late

  my days are numbered

  my clock is ticking

  shattered hopes are wounds I’m licking

  you only live once

  I get it now

  I’ve lost my heart don’t even know how

  take it break it

  don’t want it back

  I’m bleeding out the odds are stacked

  for you I’d run

  for you I’d die

  c’mon Nil

  just one more try

  I fell silent.

  Thad stared at me, stunned. “How could you know that? I wrote those lyrics in my head on my last night
here while Charley was sleeping. I never told her, never wrote them down. How could you know that?”

  “Like I said, I know everything. Saw everything.” My tone had grown detached. When someone else’s memories spilled, there was little room left for me. “It’s all here.” I tapped my head. “But the memories aren’t mine anymore, Thad. And it’s not just the memories; it’s the emotion they bring. I can’t shut it off. Can’t shut it out.” Not without shutting out me.

  Thad still looked stunned, and slightly skeptical.

  “One more?” I asked. Without waiting, I recited Thad’s own words, desperate to get them out of my head.

  barrel pointed

  at my head

  noon tells me

  you want me dead

  go on do it

  squeeze the trigger

  whispers

  laughs

  they’re getting bigger

  drop the gun

  throw it down

  I hate you

  I own you

  I’m your clown

  hold up lash out

  sling it back

  run it

  time it

  I bet on black—

  “Stop.” Thad’s voice was hoarse as he cut me off. “I get it.” His expression had shifted to understanding and, if I wasn’t mistaken, fear. “That’s a lot of information.”

  “You have no idea.” My tone was matter-of-fact. How can I feel both hollow and saturated to the point of bursting? I couldn’t bear to be in my own head.

  A moment passed where the only noise was the crash of waves.

  “I didn’t even know you played the guitar,” I said quietly. It seemed important, now.

  “I do,” Thad said absently. He turned to me, all traces of resentment gone.

  “Can I do anything?” he asked.

  “Actually, yes. Do you remember how, on your Day Three Hundred Sixty-four last time, you asked Rives to have Charley’s back if your last day didn’t work out like you hoped?”

  Thad’s expression was wary. “Yeah?”

  “I want you to have Rives’s back. If the last day works out like I think it will, he’ll need you. And you have to make sure he takes the equinox gate—before me.”

  “Skye, no.” Thad’s eyes widened in shocked comprehension. “Don’t do this.”

  “I don’t have a choice. I’m the only one who can do what has to be done. Promise me, Thad. Promise me you’ll have Rives’s back. Promise me you’ll make sure he lets me go.”

  Thad understood that I was talking about more than the gate. He shook his head, over and over. “Please, Skye. Please don’t do this. It’ll kill him.”

  “No, it won’t. It’ll save him. Promise me, Thad.”

  “I promise.” His voice was dull.

  “One more thing.” An image of Dai’s trembling figure flashed through my head, and I felt terrible that I hadn’t made him a priority before. “There’s a boy on the sand of South Beach and he’s fighting a fever. We need to send someone to help him before it’s too late.”

  Thad stood. “I don’t know how much we can do for him.”

  “We can make sure he doesn’t die with only Nil for company,” I whispered. “We’re better than that.”

  “Okay, Nil slayer.” Thad’s tone was heavy. “I’m on it.”

  CHAPTER

  62

  RIVES

  37 DAYS UNTIL THE AUTUMNAL EQUINOX, MID-MORNING

  Something was wrong.

  Epically wrong.

  Something invasive and invisible had shifted in this world, and it threatened to obliterate my world. But it wasn’t over. Another shift was coming, I just didn’t know when. All I knew was that it was Nil-related and Skye-centered.

  She had disappeared while Paulo organized a fresh team to gather heart pine and twine for Chuck to craft into an island fuse. Thad had vanished too. Somehow I wasn’t surprised to find the two together, sitting on the rocks at the beach. A memory flashed: me giving Skye a bracelet on these same black rocks, her birthday wishes written in the sand.

  Now her back was to me, a sign that spoke volumes.

  Thad stood as I approached.

  “Care for some company?” I asked.

  Thad turned around, gesturing to the now-empty space beside Skye. He swallowed. “All yours, brother. I’m heading to South Beach. I’ll catch you later, eh?”

  I nodded, but my eyes locked on Skye. She faced the water, sitting too still for my liking. “What’s going on?” I said as I sat down. “And please don’t tell me nothing. I’m not stupid, Skye. Or blind. And I’m going out of my mind with worry.”

  “I know.” Her words were soft. She turned toward me, her hands wrapped around her knees. “Do you remember what Maaka told you on the platform?” Skye’s eyes were dark. Packed with emotion, yet unnervingly distant.

  “He told me lots of things. Which one?” I said.

  “About the fire. He specifically told you not to bring fire into the gate.”

  Remember what I told you, Maaka had warned me, the day before we took this trip. Had he known I’d be having this convo, right here, right now?

  I wrenched myself back to the present.

  “And?” I raised an eyebrow.

  “We need to bring fire into the equinox gate,” Skye said unequivocally. “That’s the second part of the equinox equation. We blow up the island from within by lighting the gas-filled cavern, and then we take fire into the gate.”

  “We,” I repeated. Something tilted beneath me, cold and real. “You and me?”

  She shook her head. Sadness flickered in her eyes, tempering the steel. “Not you,” she said quietly. “Me. This time I’m last.”

  “No way.” I was on my feet. “Who knows what would happen! The gate could implode. It could kill you, Skye. Maaka specifically said not to do it.”

  She nodded, her face too calm. “I know. Because he wanted to save you.”

  The vision of Skye dead on Nil rock flashed through my head. Skye sat before me, eyes blank, voice hollow. I started to shake. “What are you saying, Skye? That you want to die? That you don’t care if you die?”

  She blinked slowly. “I’m saying that I know what I’m doing. That I’m doing what needs to be done. I should have been the last one through last time. This time, it has to be me. There is no other option.”

  “Of course there is!” I exploded. “There are always options. Choices.” Choose me, my heart begged.

  Her expression didn’t change.

  “You’re telling me you’re willing to die. For Nil.”

  “Not for Nil, for everyone else.” Skye’s voice was soft.

  “Not for me.” My voice broke. “I want you to live.”

  Skye said nothing.

  “This isn’t you talking,” I said abruptly. “It’s Nil. Nil did something to you when you touched that water and you’re not thinking clearly. This isn’t your choice!”

  Anger and hurt flashed in Skye’s eyes, setting them on fire for one brilliant instant; in that moment, I recognized my Skye. “Of course Nil did something to me when I touched that water!” she snapped. “I saw everything! Every escape, every death. Every thought, every hope, every fear. Every moment of suffering. And if I have the chance to stop it from repeating, I have to do it. Don’t you see that?”

  I swept her into my arms and held her tight. “Yes and no. I see how you’re driven to end it more than ever, but I don’t see why you have to be the last one through. I won’t lose you, Skye.”

  Too late, cackled the wind.

  Skye didn’t return my embrace. Didn’t respond. I held her at arm’s length, searching her eyes for the flash of fire I’d seen seconds before. It was gone. But my Skye was still in there, trapped.

  “I’ll find another way,” I vowed. “I refuse to lose you to this place. I refuse to lose you at all. You’re my best friend. Remember our plans? Our future? You, the travel writer, and me, the photojournalist? That’s us. You and me. Seeing the whole
world together, not just this hellhole.” My eyes scoured her face, her eyes, the set of her shoulders, hunting for any trace of Skye.

  Nothing.

  “We’ll figure out another way,” I said, desperate to break back through to her. “I can’t imagine life without you, and I don’t want to. I won’t let Nil win.”

  A single glistening tear trailed down Skye’s face.

  “It already has,” she finally whispered.

  CHAPTER

  63

  NIL

  MID-MORNING

  The female, Skye, must die. She should’ve broken before, many times before, many times over. Her resilience had become highly irritating.

  Enough, the island decided.

  The fighter had been prepared; her heart transformed. She was the perfect one to eliminate Skye, when the time was right. The darkness of night would provide perfect cover for a precisely thrown blade. Or better yet, perhaps the fighter would let Skye burn, a fitting end. The means didn’t matter, just the end, and the fighter would use whatever means necessary to bring Skye to an overdue end.

  A surge of power and might coursed through the island at the thought. The island seethed with the need for power, and power they would bring. Power they would bleed, all of them.

  They all would burn, all perish. Every last one of them. Their grand plan would fail.

  And it would be glorious.

  *

  Carmen had watched and listened as the fools in the City bought into Skye’s destructive plan. The only part that Carmen personally accepted was the leave-at-midnight agenda; the rest she ignored. But, she’d thought as she listened, Skye’s clearly insane. An unstable, unpredictable individual who actually believed that she was called to destroy the island.

  Yes, Carmen mused, Skye must be stopped.

  Skye could not be allowed to carry out her plan. In fact, she must not be able to leave or to live, because she might try to return for a third time. She was just that crazy.

  It’s why I’m here, Carmen realized with a jolt. She, Carmen Medina, had been brought here to save this place.

  And so she would.

  She would act when the time was right. The sense of purpose filled her with such a rush of pleasure that she smiled, baring her teeth in a frightening grin.