Nil Read online

“Samuel.” Strong grip. Quick nod. Massive shark tooth around his neck. “Too long.”

  “Stop.” A girl stepped up—the only person I’d noticed who was even slightly heavy—and elbowed him lightly in the ribs before turning to me with a huge grin. “I’m Macy. Been here sixty-one days.”

  “Julio.” Young, with a baby face. He mumbled three numbers in Spanish; I caught one. Literally, uno.

  Odd, I thought. They wore their days like a badge of honor. Names and numbers began to blur.

  “Raj.” At least I think that’s what the next boy said as he bobbed his head. Focusing on his introduction, I missed another girl’s altogether.

  “Talla.” Straight blond hair, knockout body. I missed her day count because I was so distracted by her chest. No one should get boobs and muscles, but Talla had gobs of both. Her spear seemed out of place.

  A tiny Asian girl with chin-length hair bowed. “Li,” she said softly. “Day Three Five Four.” Her accent was so thick it took me a minute to register the number.

  Day Three Five Four.

  She’d been here 354 days.

  I smiled at her, privately shocked by the idea that I could be here in a year. Recalling Thad combing my hair, I silently admitted being here a while might not be so bad. But a year! Holy crap, that was a long time.

  Gates must be harder to catch than I thought.

  The group dispersed as quickly as they came. Only Natalie stayed behind. I watched Li go, still grappling with the fact she’d been here nearly a year. When I was certain Li was out of earshot, I turned to Natalie. “Did I hear Li right? That she’s been here three hundred fifty-four days?”

  “Yeah.” Natalie sighed. “Awful, isn’t it?”

  “Totally. Has anyone been here longer than Li? I mean, is there some fifty-year-old island man wandering around, still looking for a gate?”

  Natalie laughed. “You’re funny. Nope. Li’s been here the longest.” Then she shot me an odd look. “Thad took you to the Cove this morning, right? And he gave you the scoop?”

  I nodded. For an instant, Natalie looked troubled, then she smiled so fast that I wondered if I’d imagined her concern altogether.

  “Well, I’m glad he found you. I’d planned to help you get a bath, but I ended up sleeping in. Of all days, right? Anyway, I still remember how good it felt to get that first bath after wandering around in jungle dirt.” Her eyes drifted up to my scalp. “Let’s eat and then we’ll check your head. Here.” She held out a piece of bread, and it was all I could do not to snatch it from her hand. The bread was sweet and moist. And it was bread.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever tasted anything so good,” I said, savoring the last bite.

  Natalie laughed, making her eyes sparkle. “Julio’s family owned a bakery. He’s been experimenting since he’s been here.”

  “Charley.”

  I turned and found Sabine holding out a wooden plank with fish and some pineapple chunks. “Here you go,” she said.

  “Thanks.”

  “I’ll grab drinks,” Natalie said. “And more bread.” She winked at me. “Be right back.”

  I followed Sabine to a heap of black rocks—four giant boulders shaped like beanbags, but as smooth as granite and just as hard. Natalie returned, carrying three coconut-shell cups and another piece of bread, which she dropped on my plank. After passing out the cups, she took a full plank from Sabine and sat.

  “Cheers,” Sabine said, lifting her cup. “It’s nice to meet you, Charley, even if it is under these circumstances.”

  “It could be worse,” I said. “At least we’ve got breakfast and fire.”

  Sabine chuckled. “I forgot. You’ve been meandering for twelve days.” She leaned forward. “Did you see any gates?”

  “One, I think. Oh, and I saw some my first day here.”

  She nodded, then picked up the fish with her fingers. I copied her, happy to have a crash course in island etiquette.

  White and flaky, with a hint of citrus, the fish melted in my mouth. I’d never had fish for breakfast before, but then again, I was all about new experiences these days. Before I knew it, my fish was gone. I started on my pineapple, forcing myself to slow down.

  The fire crackled, the ocean rumbled in the distance, and voices and laughter blended into comforting background noise. It was the most surreal breakfast of my life.

  Sabine’s face lit up. “I see Heesham,” she said, setting down her plank. “Be right back.”

  “Where’s Sabine from?” I asked Natalie as Sabine hurried away. “I can’t place her accent.”

  “Switzerland. No—wait, that was Andrea. Sabine’s from … Belgium? No.” Natalie shook her head, groaning. “Crap. That was Stella. I’m totally blanking on where Sabine is from.” Natalie rubbed her temples. “I should know this, right?”

  “What about you?” I asked. “Where’s home?”

  “The United States. A little town in Minnesota called Rochester. Not to be confused with Rochester, New York.” She smiled. “You sound Southern. You’re American, too?”

  “Born and raised. I’m from a little town outside Atlanta called Roswell, not to be confused with Roswell, New Mexico.” I smiled as Natalie laughed. But she still looked tired, and despite her smile, she seemed blue.

  “Hey, are you okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” She looked down, twisting a tiny shell bracelet on her wrist. “I just really miss Kevin. All I can think about is getting home and finding him.”

  “But how do you know the gates take us back?” I regretted my comment immediately. Way to go, Charley. Burst Natalie’s bubble when she needs it to float her.

  Natalie didn’t seem fazed. “We don’t, but it makes sense. They bring you here, and they take you somewhere. Why not back home?”

  “But how do we know they don’t dump us on another island? Or in another time?” Desperate for answers, I couldn’t stop, but to her credit, Natalie didn’t seem to mind.

  “We don’t,” she repeated in the same matter-of-fact tone. “But all the people and animals here are from Earth, and we’re definitely still on Earth—you can tell by the stars—so we figure the gates take us back home. Whatever this anomaly is, it’s tied to Earth. To our Earth, and from what we can tell, to the same time. Time on Nil tracks time back home. Didn’t Thad ask you for the date when he found you?”

  I nodded.

  “Well, it’s because we keep checking to see if there’s a variation, if our calendar still holds. So far, so good. It’s August twenty-third on Nil, and August twenty-third back in our world.”

  August 23. I should be in school right now. Studying calculus, reading Plath, playing volleyball, planning to visit Em on the weekend. But I wasn’t, I was here on Nil. Wherever—or whatever—Nil was.

  “So what is this place? Nil, I mean.” I knew I was asking her the same questions Thad had already answered, but I couldn’t help it. I needed answers as much as I need food, and Natalie seemed more forthcoming than Thad. “A parallel world? An alternative universe?”

  “Parallel world, crimp in space. Who knows.” She shrugged. “We get older here just like we would back home. Days pass, just the same. It doesn’t matter what Nil is. It just is.”

  It just is. Thad’s exact words. No one seemed as desperate for understanding as me.

  I played with my last piece of pineapple as Natalie finished her fish. Fish.

  “Stupid question, but if only cold-blooded things come through the gates, how come there’s fish?” I pointed to her plate.

  “We don’t know,” Natalie said. “The ocean’s full of cold-blooded creatures, but there aren’t any on the island. Not one. Only warm-blooded things come through the gates. So maybe the ocean was here before the island; maybe they appeared at the same time.” She shrugged. Her tone of voice was identical to when she said It just is. “But we do know that the gates are the only way out.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Every so often, someone takes a sea kayak or builds a raft, tr
ying to escape. But the current brings them back. It’s pretty clear that if you want to leave Nil, you’d better catch a gate.”

  If you want to leave Nil. I shivered.

  “Why Nil?” I rubbed my bare arms. “I mean why is that the name?”

  “Because it’s no-man’s-land, Charley,” Natalie said quietly. “A place that doesn’t exist. It’s nowhere, and yet we’re here.”

  “Uh,” I said, feeling more creeped out than ever, “I meant how do you know it’s named Nil?”

  “Oh, that.” Natalie waved her cup. “It’s carved into the top of the Naming Wall.” She pointed to the sign I’d seen Thad tracing this morning. “You’ll put your name up if you want to stay.”

  “What do you mean, want to stay?” I asked, surprised.

  “You’re so right.” She laughed, but it sounded hiccupy. “We all want to leave, the sooner the better. That’s why we set up the Search system, to give everyone the best chance at escape.” Her thoughtful look was back. “Did Thad explain Search?”

  “He said the City supports the Search teams.”

  She nodded, then looked over at Sabine, who was talking to a tall boy with jet black hair, mocha skin, and a thick beard. I assumed he was Heesham, the boy she’d jumped up to greet. He looked like he’d just stepped off a powerlifting mat; his muscles were ginormous. He wore a loincloth, the kind I’d only seen in movies. Then I realized there was no way his massive thighs would fit into a pair of shorts. Grinning broadly, he cradled something green and leafy in his massive hands, holding it carefully as Sabine inspected the leaves. But Heesham was watching Sabine’s face, not his hands.

  Abruptly I felt like I was intruding on something intimate and looked away.

  Natalie was still watching the couple. “Sabine’s amazing. She knows tons about herbs and medicinal plants. Her mom was into alternative medicine. I’ve been showing her what I know, which isn’t much.” Now Natalie looked at me. “My dad’s an ER doctor. Everyone comes to our house after falling off a bike or whatever, so I know enough to be helpful. Or dangerous.” She smiled. “Anyway, if you’re good with blood, you might want to think about learning a little island medicine. That’s what we call it. An inside joke.”

  Neither of us laughed, and Natalie’s small face turned Em-kind. “Take some time. Get to know everyone and what everyone does. Be thinking of what you’re good at or want to do. Some people fish, some hunt. Others tend the crops. There’s not many, just yams, other root veggies, and herbs. Make sure to meet Jillian, she’s the best at identifying paper trees, and Julio, he’s our baker. Macy’s learning how to make soap—it’s pretty easy—but we could use another baker, or a seamstress. Can you sew?”

  She talked so fast I felt slow. “Um, sew? No.”

  “Crap. Me either, and we haven’t had a good tailor since Han left. Just think of any skills you have and keep an open mind, okay?”

  I nodded. I wondered what Thad’s job was.

  “Did Thad mention the Covenant?” Natalie changed topics like most people blinked.

  “No.”

  “Well, if you put your name on the Wall, you’re agreeing to abide by the Covenant. It’s just a pledge to do your part, to support the City and the Searchers. There’s plenty of food on the island, but we’ve got to catch it, pick it, and sometimes cook it, and that takes time. Other people repair gliders, make clothes, whatever. We all support the Search teams. That’s the whole point of the City. So, if you want to stay here in the City, you’ve got to figure out something to contribute. It’s just the way the City is.”

  She must have read my face because she said, “It’s not as scary as it sounds. It’s just that there aren’t that many of us, so to support the teams, those staying behind keep the City running. It’s more like a camp than a City, but it’s ours.” There was pride in her voice, the same pride I’d heard in Thad’s earlier this morning.

  “Does anyone not stay?” It sounded like a really bad idea.

  “Occasionally newbs go off alone. Sometimes they come back, sometimes they don’t.” Her matter-of-fact tone gave me chills. “It’s a personal choice, but I hope you’ll stay.” She smiled.

  After being alone for twelve days, I had no urge for a solitary jungle quest. And part of me worried that Nil harbored secrets making snakes look downright warm and fuzzy.

  “I’m in,” I told Natalie. “I’ll figure out something to contribute.”

  Easier said than done. I couldn’t spear fish, weave a stupid net, or make fire. I’d no clue how to bake island bread. At home I made cakes from a box.

  Maybe I could make soap.

  “Charley,” Natalie said hesitantly, “would you like to bunk with me? It’d be nice to have a roommate again.”

  Somehow I knew who her old roommate was. I’d been wearing his clothes.

  “Sure. And—I’m sorry about Kevin.”

  “I’m not.” Her voice was fierce. “He made it.”

  I meant I’m sorry you miss him. But feeling awkward, I let the subject drop.

  “So how long have you been here?” I asked.

  “Too long.” Natalie traced the edge of her coconut cup with one finger. “So long that home seems like another life.”

  Sabine came back, a welcome diversion.

  “Sorry,” she said. “Got caught up with Sham. He found a plant I’ve been looking for.” Sabine babbled on about plants and herbs, most of which I missed; her accent was entrancing. So was her grin.

  “Sabine’s the one who found the deadleaf,” Natalie offered, smiling. “If you crush the leaves, it makes a numbing salve, which is a huge help. The fruit’s poisonous, but Sabine uses the seeds to brew a tea that works like a sleeping potion after it ferments. It’s what knocked you out last night, when you were hurting after you started to wake up. It’s the closest thing to Tylenol PM that we’ve got.” A wistful look passed over her face. “Would’ve been nice for Kev to have had some when he broke his arm. But at least now he’s home, in the land of Motrin and orthopedic surgeons. Sometimes I think that’s the best thing I’ve ever done here. Setting his arm, making sure he didn’t lose it. He wants to be a surgeon. Anyway”—she took a deep breath—“let’s take a look at your head.” Natalie talked fast; I had to work to keep up.

  Natalie’s fingers danced across my scalp. “Looks good. Just don’t mess with it, okay?”

  “Okay.” As if I wanted to touch blood. Dried, fresh, mine, someone else’s, it didn’t matter. Blood gave me the willies, in any form. No island medicine for me.

  Soon the breakfast area cleared, of food and of people. Again I felt grateful to Natalie, a stranger who took care of me last night and kept me company today. But I couldn’t help noticing that my island guide was still missing.

  Sabine stood. “Let’s go see how things are shaping up for tonight.”

  “Tonight?” I asked, feeling lost, again.

  “Tonight’s a Nil Night,” Natalie said, smiling impishly. “We have one to celebrate whenever someone makes it home. Like Kevin.” She positively beamed. “And to welcome newcomers—like you.” Seeing my face, she laughed. “Don’t worry. It’s no big deal.”

  Big deal or not, I hoped the spotlight stayed on Kevin rather than me. As the newest contestant, I felt conspicuous enough.

  As we cut through the trees, the unmistakable smell of roasting meat filled the air. “Someone’s smoking something,” I said, taking a deep breath. Even though I’d just eaten, my mouth watered like I’d just walked by a pregame tailgate at UGA.

  Sabine made a face. “It’s the hog. Don’t worry, Charley, you don’t have to eat it.”

  “Have to? I want to. I haven’t smelled anything this good in weeks.”

  Natalie laughed. “Sabine’s a vegan, Charley. No meat.”

  “I take it you’re not?” Sabine asked, crinkling her nose. But she was smiling.

  “Nope. I’m a Southerner. Barbecue is its own food group for us.”

  The trees fell away, dumping us on the beach. Whi
te sand shifted under my sandals, finer than the black sand I’d been walking on for the past two weeks. But the sand was nothing compared with the scene before me.

  The sun sparkled, rising into a cloudless sky. The ocean lay ahead, stretching until it met the horizon, blue kissing blue. Close to shore, the waves broke and retreated. But for the first time since I’d set foot on Nil, the beach was full of people and activity. A firepit wafted lazy smoke into the air. Around the fire, kids laughed and talked. Two shirtless boys were playing catch with a coconut, throwing it like a football, their shoulders and backs rippling under a sheen of sweat. The girl built like a Playboy bunny was sprinting down the beach beside a tall boy with dreadlocks, like an advertisement for island athletic wear. Other kids floated on surfboards past the whitewater. It looked like an island retreat, like the perfect Hawaiian vacation spot.

  Something twanged, like when a violist strikes a sour note.

  “Natalie,” I said, turning, “where are the adults? The little kids?”

  CHAPTER

  15

  THAD

  DAY 279, MID-MORNING

  I hated to leave Charley, but the look on Miguel’s face left me no choice.

  “What’s up?” I asked. Miguel was usually chill. My-English-is-choppy-so-I’m-just-gonna-listen chill, but still chill. Right now his face was anything but chill. He looked seriously disturbed. “Is it about the Shack?”

  “No.” Miguel kept his voice low. “Elia’s team. They bring something back. Something you need to see.”

  Something bad. Miguel’s face said it all. My stomach felt like I’d swallowed rocks.

  “Behind the Shack,” he said. “Come.”

  Sy and Johan lounged on a flat rock at the City’s edge. Johan’s hair was so filthy it looked more brown than blond, and both boys’ skin was streaked with dirt. They were Search-dirty and then some. Elia was nowhere in sight.

  “Welcome back,” I said.

  Sy stood. “Thad, check this out.”

  He walked over, handling a piece of cloth as if it held delicate crystal. Beside me Miguel crossed himself and whispered in rapid-fire Spanish. Johan looked ready to throw up.